Saturday, July 22, 2006

Gents, Countrymen, Soldiers at arms.

The time has come again for another installment of The Chauvinist Movement.

I have been thinking lately that many of our troops misunderstand the benefit of camaraderie. Many of us are loners, including yours truly. This characteristic is amplified if we are gamers, geeks or nerds; when most of our entertainment resides indoors. We should note that a sniper will quicker take down a loner, rather than a group. I propose a push for Squadron Building. Beef up your ranks before wandering into the battlefield. A crew will rescue you from danger, watch your back, and above all; keep you honest and down to earth. Your squadron should come first. They are a part of you.

I am reminded of my unbreakable squadron: The Ungie Clan. They were, and still are my brothers. No enemy can infiltrate our barracks, and no enemy can escape our wrath. I hope that all of you may find the same fortune.

WEEK 5: Assemble a Squadron (or if you have a squadron already, embark on a hunting party)

Go forth brothers, stay grounded and show no mercy.

our motto: Chauvinism is the new Feminism. Join up today!
viva la revolution.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Gents, Countrymen, Fellow guys of Pride.

I have been amiss; of this I am well aware. I have been contemplating the effect that my teachings have had on the populace. I have heard tale of strengthened soldiers breaking free from the bonds of the enemy. I have heard of the liberation of many a toilet seat, and recruits multiply the world over. I have extended our network to the youth, for they will create a future that I can only dream of.

Now, onto this week's phase of the The Chauvinist Movement.

The battle has begun, the war horn has been sounded, and our enemy has entered the battlefield. Now is the time for the offensive.
I know that you are all aware of that 'particular' girl who has her eye on you; my fellow gents of worth. They flirt their way into our barracks, lower our defenses, and skewer us while we sleep. I hear of weakened brothers who abandon their posts to fraternize with these spies. I have considered ejecting these weak individuals, but I refuse to abandon my brethren based on my disappointment. I do however; hope that these units may be saved.
I propose that we attack these spies with our own brand of espionage. We are aware of their presence, their mission, and their methods. Now we simply need to reverse them.

WEEK 4: Reject a girl who has been trying to infiltrate your barracks.

Turn down their offers. Foil their attempts of "manhood removal". Grasp firmly at thine testes, lest they be removed and pursed. Destroy the enemy's self esteem, and gorge thy self on the scent of their failure. Become the aggressor. Fortify your dominance. Be not afraid to say, "Nah, I donít really feel like it", in your best nonchalant voicing.

P.S. - One of our soldiers has been captured willingly by the enemy. Learn from our brother's mistakes. A moment of silence...for the Prince of O's.

our motto: Chauvinism is the new Feminism. Join up today!
viva la revolution.

Friday, July 14, 2006

I am so proud.
Go to You tube and VOTE!

Thursday, July 13, 2006


Friday, July 07, 2006
Gents, Countrymen, Masters of Destiny.

I know I have been absent, but I bring you the next stage of The Chauvinist Movement.

Our ranks rise, and our voices echo.
I must say that I am proud of my fellow soldiers' resilience; your drive brings a salty tear to this guy's wrinkled, worn eye. I have heard tale of many struggles; bed-evictions, self doubt, TV envy, the list goes on. Do not think for a moment, that the enemy does not have a counterattack at the ready. This game is Chess; not Checkers. I see my brothers losing strength; wavering in their resolve; succumbing to the chains of 'civilized' society.

We need a reminder of our mission.

We need a quick pick-me-up.

I propose that we remind ourselves of our worth. We need to realize that we hold power over our enemy and we must remember how to exploit it. We need confidence. We need music.

WEEK 3: Listen to these songs...

With or Without You - U2
Fuck You - Dr Dre (Chronic 2001)
Karma - Lloyd Banks
Shit, Damn, MotherFucker - D'Angelo
All Night - Jr. Gong
Polly - Nirvana

Feed on the sorrow, the anger, the disinterest, the pain of our fellow brothers. Use their pitfalls to propel you to new heights. Let not their suffering pass in vain. You are all superior men. You are all masters of your destiny. Lead...Lead...Lead!

our motto: Chauvinism is the new Feminism. Join up today!
viva la revolution.


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